By Leesa Harker
Leesa Harker's brilliant Liverpool-based parody of fifty colours tells of the adventures of White Lightning-swigging Maggie Muff, who meets Mr substantial on the Dole Tall, darkish and shaggable he could be, yet his pursuits are faraway from traditional, and while he introduces Maggie to the pink Room of soreness she realises that she can have bitten off greater than she will chew.If you are looking for books like 50 colors of gray, yet wish whatever funnier, filthier and set within the middle of Liverpool, this can be the ideal e-book for you. the muse for the sell-out play, starring Dannielle Malone.
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Extra info for 51 Shades of Maggie, Liverpool Style. A Liverpool parody of Fifty Shades of Grey
And then he asked me to text him some pictures. So I took my knickers off an set a few eggs on the floor, then squatted over them so that the Muff was on show. Then I took the pic an sent it with a text sayin, ‘Look what I’ve laid ... ’ Then he texted back, ‘You are naughty, Margaret. I may have to spank you later. ’ So I was still squattin over the eggs, thinkin of doin somethin filthy with a bottle of Cillit Bang when the manager came in with Sinead. The manager looked shocked, but Sinead just burst out laughin.
Mr Big trailed me up to the top, an it was an open top bus so it was freezin. Passing the Liver Birds Building, he pulled me over on the seat and snogged the face off me. Everybody was staring at us, but I didn’t care. It was like that time in Ibiza, me and Big Sally-Ann were shagging some lads in the sea. Then their mums came and we had to scarper – look, we didn’t know they were only 14 – they had chest hair and hard-ons and everything! ’ Then he said, ‘I’m hard, Margaret. ’ Then I filled my gob up with him an he loved it!
I’d rubbed it all over so I’d be brown for the weekend an when I woke up the next day, it was like I’d dipped my baps in a bucket of muck. An no amount of soap, Fairy liquid or bleach would take it off. I looked like that old hag off Benidorm. Anyway, that night in bed, I was under my Paris Hilton duvet an couldn’t stop thinkin about Mr Big … his gorgeous green eyes, his cute lips an his arse in those chinos. I was moist all right. The Red Room of Pain Big Sally-Ann was ragin when she found out Mr Big was after me!